


Somewhere

by Leasspell Dæl (leasspell_dael)



Category: Chrono Cross
Genre: Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-03
Updated: 2010-09-03
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leasspell_dael/pseuds/Leasspell%20D%C3%A6l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schala recounts how she was imprisoned and then freed, while Kid attempts to reconcile her present and her past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer**: I do not own Chrono Cross or the song Somewhere, nor do I pretend that I do. Even if I did, the army of lawyers that would come after me would make me change my mind. Chrono Cross is the property of SquareEnix, Somewhere is the English version of Filia's character song from Slayers Try.
> 
> Rough draft finished May 29, 2001; "final" version finished September 9, 2001. Last revised 2 July 2006.

_Somewhere in the world,   
Somewhere in the dark_

  
The Time Devourer continued it's solitary wait in the darkness at the End of Time; a horrific union between Lavos and a human. In order to pacify the human half, a small plateau had been created for the being to rest upon. It had been waiting for many thousands of years, and would continue waiting for thousands more, if necessary.

_I can hear the voice that calls my name._

  
It was a spider-like creature, with many gruesomely protruding spikes. Yet in the center there was a completely clear magical bubble, and within that bubble the human half of the Devourer of Time was encased.

Although the journey through the vortex had bleached her hair and destroyed her clothes, she radiated an aura of calmness and serenity that seemed contradictory to the barely veiled threat that was embodied by the parasite.

However, the calm projected by her physical self concealed the fact that her mind was in turmoil. Being in such close contact with the alien creature was corroding her mind; driving her to the edge of sanity. By this point, most of her thoughts were hateful and destructive, but occasionally her natural self broke through, and she would have wept with frustration had she been capable of controlling her body.

It was just after one of those times of clearheadedness, that she heard it--a ghost of a whisper that prevented her mind from descending back into Lavos' well of hate--

"Schala..."

_Might be a memory,   
Might be my future,   
Might be a love,   
Waiting for me._

  
It was only there for a moment, and so soft that she couldn't identify the voice, but it comforted her. When nothing followed, she began to doubt that it had actually been there. Perhaps it had just been a shadow from her past.

_"Schala... I hate them all so much! Why can't they just leave me alone?"_

'Poor little Janus,' she thought to herself. 'Everybody picked on you because you couldn't use magic. But you never did know true hate, like I feel so often now...'

Such thoughts did little good for her mental state, and she knew it. As a distraction, Schala desperately grasped at anything that might help distract her and keep her thoughts clear; she went back to pondering the source of the voice.

'Perhaps it's an echo from the 'future', like those of that poisoned child, so long ago now...' A pang of regret ran through her at the memory. She may have lost her one chance to escape before Lavos had been able to latch on to her completely, but what weighed most heavily on her conscience was that she may have ruined the child's life. After all, if she hadn't tried to reach out for him, she wouldn't have caused that storm, and maybe his father would still be alive. Even if it might have been the only way to save the boy's life--which she didn't know for certain--it didn't make up for the loss of his father. She hoped he would be able to find happiness, despite her interference.

One final hope soared through her mind as she tried to distract herself, once again, from a depressing topic.

'Perhaps somebody's coming to rescue me!'

Eventually, the stress of her situation forced her mind to shut down and allowed her to sleep.

But she dreamed of happier times.

_Rock me gently_

  
_She was going to be a big sister soon! Mommy's belly had gotten really big and round!_

They were sitting in the Garden, which had been created from magic. Her mother was sitting in a rocking chair, and little Schala was curled up on her lap. She had her ear pressed against her mother's stomach, trying to see if she could tell when the baby moved. Mother had her arms around her to make sure that she didn't fall off as they rocked back and forth. When the baby finally kicked, Schala squealed in delight and her mother laughed.

_Hug me tenderly.   
'Til the morning breaks,   
Night fades away._

  
_Her step-father had his arms around her as he tried to soothe his daughter's fears._

Schala had been having horrible dreams at night, where she was all alone, and a black wind swirled around her. She'd wake up screaming and refuse to go back to sleep. It was hard to get her to go to bed as it was, because of these dreams. Between her and baby Janus, neither he nor his wife were getting much sleep, but they knew that they could handle it so long as they were together.

Eventually, Schala was lulled back to sleep.

_I've spent my life in vain,   
Trapped inside pain.   
Don't let me down,   
Help me see the light._

  
Schala 'woke up'. As usual, nothing had changed; she was still imprisoned, and she was still barely keeping the hate at bay. It hurt so much, this alien presence she was stuck with. If it weren't for the bubble barrier she had erected, she would have been completely integrated as a part of Lavos, rather than just connected to it. It was mentally and physically exhausting to keep the barrier going all the time, between that and the mental stress caused by the imposed hate, it was no wonder that she spent most of her time sleeping.

Was going through all this pain even worth it? What were the chances that she'd ever be rescued, anyways? Maybe she should just drop the barrier and let herself become a part of Lavos. Yes, it would hurt for a few moments, but after that there would be nothing.

She was very close to doing exactly that, when an image popped into her mind: Janus being sucked into a vortex caused by this monster.

'No!' she screeched in her mind, focussing her thoughts and strengthening the bubble. 'I will not give in to this /monster/ that stole my brother--my life!--away from me.' The mental outburst was exhausting and her next thought was full of weary desperation.

'Please, somebody--anybody!--save me, soon! I can't live like this much longer. I have already spent more of my life like this than truly living, and I fear that if I stay here for much longer, it will be too late to go back...'

_Feeling bitter and twisted all along,   
Wading through an empty life too long._

  
It had been a few millennia since she had nearly given up, and bitterness and disillusionment was taking over. Schala had finally given up all hope of being rescued. She was upset that it was only herself that was going through this torture; that she was the only one who was forced to fight in order to keep her mind in one piece, day in, day out. What was the point of living? But she couldn't even end it all because the only way available to her was to completely give in to Lavos, and she refused to do that.

_I close my eyes,   
Listen to the wind_

  
She shuddered as her mind examined the surrounding area for a distraction, but as usual there had been no change, it was just her, Lavos, and the Plateau. And the Black Wind. It had taken her a while to figure out why the Black Wind was always blowing around her and Lavos. Janus and herself had been able to feel it, back in Zeal, and whenever it came disaster would follow. They had assumed it was some sort of premonition for destruction.

How wrong they had been. Wherever the Black Wind blew, death or destruction would follow, but it was not a premonition: it was a cause. The Black Wind was Lavos' presence or aura, and would manifest itself whenever it tried to affect the Timestream.

This was where Lavos was, what was left of it anyways, and so the Black Wind stayed around the Devourer.

Listening to it was painful, for she could feel the hate and bitterness, and even loneliness, that Lavos felt. It didn't change the fact that she felt it deserved to be destroyed for what it had done, but it scared her how similarly they reacted towards their mutual situation.

'Does this mean that I'm a monster, too?' she wondered, not for the first time.

_Longing to belong,   
To a higher place!_

  
It was when her thoughts ran like that, that she most wanted to go home to Zeal. Not like it was at the end, but how it was supposed to be in the beginning. A place of hope and prosperity, where all could live in peace away from the eternal blizzard, whether they could use magic or not.

But before the Kingdom of Zeal could be completed, her mother had found an old tome all about Lavos and became intrigued. Although Janus was still just a baby, their parents had gone on a journey to see if they could locate it and harness its power.

They had gone with some friends, but only Mother had returned. After that, she was different. She looked down upon the non-magic users, treated them as inferiors. Eventually, the floating continent ascended into the sky; the magical Kingdom of Zeal. Their family had always been the hereditary leaders of the people, but now they were actually royalty. It was time for them to take charge of their land.

It was at the Skygate that Queen Zeal had made her first royal decree. Young Schala could only watch in horror as she held onto a one year old Janus.

Only the Enlightened Ones, people who could use magic would be permitted to ascend to the continent. People who could not were to be Earthbound, not even worthy of being servants to the Enlightened Ones.

Even though it would be years later until the islands would descend back into the sea, Schala knew now that it had be that day when the Kingdom had barely been completed that Zeal had truly fallen.

_Let me hear your voice,_

  
There was some kind of commotion--other presences on the plateau. Energy was being exchanged--similar to magic, but different. She tried to extend her senses and 'see' what was going on, but Lavos wrapped the Black Wind around her, and she could feel herself descending back into the well of hate.

It was only a short while later that she heard it, breaking through the fog of hate and bitterness. A short melody, notes intertwined in a repeating pattern, but it touched things deep within her that she thought she had lost millennia ago: love and hope. Love for her family and friends, and hope for a bright future. Even during the darkest days of Zeal, she had never lost these feelings, and as in Zeal they gave her strength.

_Let me be with you,   
When the shadow falls down upon me._

  
Using all of the power she could muster together--much more than she would have anticipated--she broke the connections that tied her to Lavos. Her bubble rised out of its shell, and she could hear Lavos' mental shriek of protest. Then, its body started to crumble and disappear as the song that had soothed her soul, destroyed what remained Lavos' body.

She was free from him, at last! Someone had _finally_ come to save her.

Schala guided the bubble down and, when she felt the plateau grow close, ordered it to pop. She landed daintily first on one bare foot and then the other. Finally, for the first time in over thirteen thousand years, she opened her eyes and looked around.

There were three people standing there, staring at her with gazes that bordered on disbelief, but only two of them caught her attention.

One, she recognized after a bit of thought, was the boy she had reached out to when she had first been forced together with Lavos. But he was much older now.

'He saved me?' Schala thought, a bit bewildered. 'How could he have found me, or even known I existed?'

But it was the other, the girl, who really captured her attention. Longish blonde hair done up in a pigtail, white make-up in dabs on her face and arms, a dagger in her hand, and a quite skimpy red outfit.

None of these things were what really interested her, though. It was the girl's striking resemblance to herself, and the pendant around her neck.

_Her_ pendant.

'So this is my clone,' she thought to herself, distantly. 'Has that much time really passed?'

Then she felt a small tug, and realized that her time was nearly up. She had drawn too much power to keep herself from merging fully with Lavos; the strain had been too much. Now that she was free, her body was beginning to disintegrate. It was time for her to rejoin her clone, her other half.

Everything was getting dark as two realities prepared to merge into one.

And, suddenly, she was scared.

She could feel a link forming between her and her clone, and worried that her mind would be dwarfed by the other personality. As much as she had hated it, she had learned a lot during her captivity, and she now felt the desperate need to share this knowledge, before it could be lost.

So, she began to pour her soul out to them, hoping they would understand and that, even if they would consciously forget once the worlds merged, the words would stay in their hearts forever.

But, even as she did this, she was distracted. Even as the darkness prevented her from seeing anything, she could feel her body breaking apart, but almost immediately she was pulled into "Kid"'s body, her clone's... No. Not her clone's. Kid's. Another part of her. A part that grew and evolved, but still her. Although she didn't break off her speech, speaking through Kid's mouth, she was bombarded with thoughts and memories that weren't quite her own.

'Such a different life she's led, yet still with so much tragedy...'

As she saw the memories, they became her own, and she was sure the same was happening with her other half. It was then that Schala found something that surprised her.

Kid was just as scared as she was! More so, in fact. She didn't want to be Schala, because she was Kid. A different person, with a different life. She wasn't anybody's clone, but an individual with free choice.

_You are right. You are not just a clone,_ Schala said soothingly in 'their' mind.

_What?!_ was Kid's startled reaction.

_You are scared, aren't you?_ questioned Schala. _Scared that I'm going to take over you're mind and body, because 'I' am the 'original'. Am I right?_

The mental silence was all that Schala needed to confirm her suspicions. But she had figured out something that might put Kid at ease.

_Do you remember the night that Lynx burned down the orphanage?_

_Of course I do!_ snapped Kid.

_And do you remember who pulled you out of the fire?_

There was a bit of hesitation, and then, _Not really..._

'Denial,' thought Schala sadly, although she felt that under the circumstances that it was understandable. She decided not to push the issue.

_Alright. Do you remember what you said to him?_

_What the hell are ya talking about?! I was seven!_

_You _do_ remember. You deny it because you don't understand what you meant, and that frightens you,_ Schala told her without mercy. Kid tried to protest, but the princess wouldn't let her.

_You told him that everyone you had ever cared about had left you._

There was mental silence again.

_I'm sure that, looking back, you've wondered why you said it. I can tell you._

You were a part of me that had not yet been corrupted by Lavos' influence. And although you grew up as a separate individual, on a subconscious level, you still had my memories and experiences. So, although you couldn't remember losing anybody you had cared about before, you knew it had happened, and that it had hurt. Father, Mother, Janus, and then Lucca. All the people we have ever cared about have left us, and it hurts.

_Your point?_ asked Kid bitterly.

_Don't you see? A part of human nature is to evolve as time passes. When you were 'born', you had the basic imprint of 'Schala' as your personality. But as you grew, you changed and became 'Kid'. I, on the other hand, have remained the same. When we merge, 'I' will become your distant past, and 'you' shall become my present. 'You' might change some due to your memories from 'my' past, but 'Kid' will still be the dominant personality. 'You' have nothing to fear from 'me'. 'I' am simply who 'you' once were._

'Please, let her understand and accept this,' Schala prayed silently.

But there was still a thin layer of hesitation, a barrier preventing their minds from completely merging. Kid wasn't completely convinced yet, and she had to be one hundred percent certain before it was possible for the process to be completed.

Externally, Schala finished her speech. Good-byes were made, and the worlds merged. All that was left was for their minds to become one. It was all up to Kid.

With nobody else around, both minds could put their full attention on the problem at hand. In their mind, there were two figures. One was Kid, and the other was Schala. It wasn't Schala as she was when her body had disintegrated, but how she pictured herself from her time in Zeal: Long blue hair, and an elaborate purple gown. All around was darkness, like outside their mind, except for a thin clear wall that was separating the two of them. Schala approached it and placed her hands on the surface. She pushed, but it didn't budge at all. Her eyes locked with Kid's, who had also approached the wall, silently pleading with her.

Kid didn't touch the wall, but was thinking.

'She's my past? My forgotten memories? Is that all she'll be? Why's she willing to settle for that? I don't think she's trying to trick me, but, how can she be so sure that she won't control me?' Kid felt like screaming in frustration. This wasn't getting her anywhere.

'Gah! This is so bloody confusing! Okay, what about, if somebody does something against me, I'd start acting angry at them. But if forgot for a sec sometime later, I might act normally for a minute until I remember and get upset again. Maybe that's what this'll be like. Remembering somethin' I forgot for a second. Right. I can live with that.' Kid came out of her reverie and noticed that Schala had been looking at her for a while. Her eyes widened as the princess slowly knelt down, hands sliding against the wall, as the girl lost hope and her knees gave out. Kid grew panicked as the other girl began to sob.

"I'm sorry!" Schala gasped out. "I'm sorry that I've ruined your life... I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to stop Mother... But, she was my mother! I didn't want to lose her; to make her angry with me... I'm so selfish. Go on. Take control of your body. I spent so much time with Lavos, a little more before I can rest won't hurt. Just... Please... If you... If you see Janus, my brother, tell him... Could you tell him I love him? And that I miss him? That's all I ask."

Kid's eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second, wondering if the princess was trying to guilt trip her. Then her eyes grew wide as she recognized the name 'Janus'.

'Sis... That letter... She knew. Even before she became one of those spirits, she knew. She wanted me to have a family again. To have a brother. _Her_ brother. Or is it _our_ brother?' Kid was confused, and no longer knew what to think. 'If... If I accept her as part of myself, then we both have a chance to get rid of our loneliness. I think... that that's worth the risk.'

She knelt in front of Schala, who was still sobbing with her head bowed. Kid felt a rush of shame, and reached out for her, momentarily forgetting about the barrier. She was surprised that, when her hands made contact with it, it rippled, like water, and jerked her hands back momentarily. Schala's head came up insurprise at the noise. Kid put a small grin on her face, and pushed her hands through the wall to embrace the blue-haired girl. Schala, surprised, returned the gesture, smiling softly into the hug. Then she began to shimmer and fade, and Kid looked down in shock and a little bit of fear; but Schala was still smiling.

_Don't be afraid,_ her voice echoed as the ghostly form flowed into Kid's mental body.

"I'm not," Kid whispered, tears beginning to run down her face.

Their mind had finally been made whole again, for the first time in over thirteen thousand years.

_Like a bird singing,   
Like a breeze blowing,   
It's calling me from somewhere in the world._

  
Shortly after the incident at the End of Time, she had felt the urge to write down what had happened. She was the only one who remembered, and she didn't want the knowledge to die with her...

It had only been when she had reached the end that she had paused, unsure of how to sign it: Schala, or Kid. 'Schala' was her true name from birth, but 'Kid' more accurately described her as she was now. Then she smiled as she remembered that it was okay to be both and, thus, signed both names. Schala 'Kid' Zeal.

Now she stood on Opassa Beach, her white dress rippling in the breeze and a red ribbon holding some of her hair back in a braid. As a general rule, she didn't like wearing anything quite so fancy anymore, but today was the one year anniversary of her freedom, so she made an exception, splurging on puffy sleeves and a skirt that reached her knees for once. She had just planned on walking around Termina, but had found herself irresistibly drawn to Opassa Beach, passing by Arni without more than a passing thought of checking on Serge. Even now, a year later, the part of her that had been trapped in the End of Time marvelled at all the sensations; the sound of the birds as the soared through the air, the breeze blowing through her hair... It all seemed so new.

She stood where the gate had been, where she had been drawn to, and felt a tug on her Astral Amulet.

A very un-Schala-like grin spread across her face. It was one hundred percent Kid.

'See ya soon, Serge!' she thought as she activated her amulet, and thus the gate, Schala knowledge of magic aiding her. 'I'm gonna make sure you live, mate, if it's the last thing I do!'

Travelling across time and space, a woman who had once been Princess Schala of Zeal, who was now known as the Radical Dreamer Kid, both began and ended Project: Kid.

* * *

_end_


End file.
